Fellowship of the Facebook Status's
by ParzivalHallows
Summary: What if Frodo, Aragorn, Legolas, Sam, Merry and Pippin plus others had a facebook? o.O
1. A Very Facebook Party

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**This is just a product of what happens when I'm bored. **

…

**Hobbits are basically chubby, short, pink round things with hairy feet that like to sing. **

1 hour ago. Like. Comment

Pippin Took: Not cool.

Samwise Gamgee: _this _is the guy that made us up?

J.R.R Tolkien: Oh, how do I set this to private again?

Frodo Baggins: fail

Merry Brandybuck: smh

…

**Bilbo is celebrating his 111****th**** b-day. Be jealous. **

15 minutes ago. Like. Comment

_Frodo Baggins, Pippin Took, Samwise Gamgee and 113 others like this_

Gandalf the Gray: curious how little time seems to have affected you, my dear friend.

Bilbo Baggins: oh, you know what they say Gandalf! Heh.

Gandalf the Gray: actually I don't. Care to enlighten me?

…

_Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, and 113 others are attending the _Party of Special Magnificence.

12 minutes ago. Like.

_Bilbo Baggins likes this_

…

**Bilbo is sick of handing out presents. Why can't I get my own? **

3 minutes ago. Like. Comment

_Frodo Baggins likes this_

J.R.R Tolkien: Oops, sorry about that.

Bilbo Baggins: *sigh*

…

**Frodo Baggins just soiled himself. Huge dragon in flames just tried to eat him.**

8 minutes ago. Like. Comment

_Pippin Took, Bilbo Baggins, Otho Sackville-Baggins and 113 others like this_

Gandalf the Grey: since it was a mere firework, it would have done little damage to you.

Frodo Baggins: sorry if I panicked at seeing a HUGE FLAMING DRAGON coming for me!

_115 people liked this comment_

Lobelia Sackville-Baggins: I knew this would be a waste of time.

Frodo Baggins: Why did we invite them again?

Bilbo Baggins: I don't really know…

Otho Sackville-Baggins: Frodo you little snot, your uncle obviously knew that we were above all others and simply HAD to invite us!

Bilbo Baggins: No, really, I don't know why I invited you guys.

Lobelia Sackville-Baggins:  . . .

…

_115 people joined the group _Bored to Tears by Bilbo Baggins Pointless Speech.

17 minutes ago. Like. Comment

Frodo Baggins: I find it very informing! My uncle will show you!

…

_Bilbo Baggins joined the group _Vanishing into thin air.

15 minutes ago. Like. Comment

…

**SAMWISE GAMGEE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT IN MIDDLE-EARTH JUST HAPPENED!**

15 minutes ago. Like. Comment

_Otho Sackville-Baggins, Pippin Took, Merry Brandybuck and 112 others like this_

Frodo Baggins: you guys will see soon enough.

Merry Brandybuck: actually we won't! He just vanished!

_111 others like this comment_

Frodo Baggins:  -.-

Gandalf the Grey: might have an idea…

…

**Bilbo Baggins likes his little joke. And his precious. **

13 minutes ago. Like. Comment

Gandalf the Grey: I suppose you think that was very clever don't you.

Bilbo Baggins: Uh, duh? Did you see the look on their faces! Hahaha!

Gandalf: That ring shouldn't be abused like that!

Bilbo Baggins: *is pretending to listen*

Gandalf the Grey: *sigh*

…

**Bilbo Baggins needs a Holiday. **

11 minutes ago. Like. Comment

…

_Bilbo Baggins joined the group _Leaving the Shire on a Journey

8 minutes ago. Like.

_Gandalf the Grey likes this_

Frodo: Where's the dislike button when you need it?

…

_Frodo Baggins joined the group _DISLIKE BUTTON!

7 minutes ago. Like

_Everyone likes this. _

…

**Frodo Baggins is upset. His uncle is gone and all he got was a lousy ring. **

4 hours ago. Like. Comment

Gandalf the Grey: that ring is very special Frodo. Keep it secret. Keep it safe!

Frodo Baggins: Um, k?

…

_Gandalf the Grey joined the group _Leaving the Shire for over 30 years before returning to Frodo.

30 years ago. Like

Frodo Baggins: they really need to get a dislike button on FB…

_Everyone likes this comment_

…

**K, tell me if you want some more chapters! Hope you enjoyed! **


	2. Samwise the FB stalker part 1

_Everyone joined the group _Talk about Bilbo Now that He's not around to Hear it.

Like. Comment

Frodo Baggins: Not cool guys…

Samwise Gamgee: But you joined it too, Master Frodo!

Pippin Took: *gigglesnort* busted.

Frodo Baggins: -.-

* * *

><p><strong>Frodo Baggins wrote on Gandalf the Grey's wall<strong>

_Thanks to you, now everybody thinks I'm going to 'pull a Bilbo'. _

20 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Gandalf the Grey: So sorry, my dear Frodo. But I believe that I may have to force you to 'pull a Bilbo'.

Frodo: WTF, WHY?

Bilbo Baggins: What's all this about pulling a Bilbo?

Gandalf the Grey: It's not to be spoken of on here.

Frodo: Why not?

Gandalf the Grey: There are…stalkers on Facebook.

Samwise Gamgee: I know what you mean about that, Gandalf. You shouldn't trust anybody on Facebook.

Frodo Baggins: …I think I see what you mean.

Bilbo Baggins: Will somebody please inform me about what 'pulling a Bilbo' means?

* * *

><p><strong>Frodo Baggins is planning Bilbo's 112<strong>**th**** b-day party! Who wants to come? **

1 hour ago. Like. Comment.

Pippin Took: Er…Frodo I'm not sure how to break this to you buddy…

Frodo Baggins: What? BREAK WHAT?

Merry Brandybuck: Er…isn't Bilbo sorta…like…well you know…

Samwise Gamgee: dead?

Pippin Took: SAM!

Merry Brandybuck: You're almost as tactful as Pip now Sam!

Bilbo Baggins: That's so sweet of you my dear boy!

Samwise Gamgee: But he is!

Pippin Took: It's clear that he is dead, yes, but you don't break it like that to him!

Bilbo Baggins: Um…actually…?

Merry Brandybuck: Listen to me, Frodo. Ignore the daft hobbits up there. Bilbo is dead.

Bilbo Baggins: wait WHAT?

Frodo Baggins: …I'm surrounded by idiots.

Pippin Took: 3 love you too!

Frodo Baggins: -.-

* * *

><p><strong>Frodo Baggins wrote on Gandalf the Grey's wall<strong>

_I could really use your help right now_

16 years ago. Like. Comment. See relationship

* * *

><p><strong>Frodo Baggins wrote on Gandalf the Grey's wall<strong>

_Could you help me out please?_

15 years ago. Like. Comment. See relationship

* * *

><p><strong>Frodo Baggins wrote on Gandalf the Grey's wall<strong>

_GANDALF WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? _

14 years ago. Like. Comment. See relationship

* * *

><p><strong>Frodo Baggins wrote on Gandalf the Grey's wall <strong>

_I really need your help!_

13 years ago. Like. Comment. See relationship

* * *

><p><strong>Frodo Baggins wrote on Gandalf the Grey's wall<strong>

_I'm bored. _

12 years ago. Like. Comment. See relationship

* * *

><p><strong>Frodo Baggins wrote on Gandalf the Grey's wall<strong>

_Gandalf, it's about the ring!_

9 years ago. Like. Comment. See relationship

Gandalf the Grey: What about it?

Frodo Baggins: There you are!

Gandalf the Grey: What's wrong with the ring!

Frodo Baggins: I was beginning to worry that you were dead!

Gandalf the Grey: Fool, there is no time for that. Now where is the ring?

Frodo Baggins: You never visit anymore! *sad face*

Gandalf the Grey: FRODO WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE RING?

Frodo Baggins: Oh, wait you fell for that? LOL Nothing's wrong with it! xD

Gandalf the Grey: *virtual slap*

Frodo Baggins: /3

* * *

><p>Frodo Baggins<em> and <em>The Elves _are now friends_

* * *

><p><strong>Frodo Baggins wrote on The Elves wall<strong>

_Hey guys, 'sup? You need to tell me all about the outside world because now that Gandalf isn't here anymore I don't know shit._

13 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

The Elves: You're a friend of the Elves! You are always welcome to write on our wall! *bell laughter*

Frodo Baggins: Aw thanks! *virtual hug* now you need to tell me what's been going on.

The Elves: Not much. Some more of us are leaving Middle-Earth, so we might see you soon.

Frodo Baggins: K, cya soon!

* * *

><p><strong>The Elves wrote on Frodo Baggins wall<strong>

_*whispers* there are many forces of evil around. Sauron hears all, and sees all. Be careful Frodo Baggins, for you hold something very valuable to him. _

3 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Frodo Baggins: Why whisper?

The Elves: *still whispering* because Sauron hears all! Weren't you reading?

Frodo Baggins: *blushing* oh yeah, haha!

The Elves: *facepalm*

Frodo Baggins: So why are you telling me this?

The Elves: Read. Above.

Frodo Baggins: I do? What do I hold! WHAT DO I, FRODO BAGGINS OF THE SHIRE, HOLD THAT THE DARK LORD SARAUN WANTS!

The Elves: STFU! *back to a whisper* he'll hear you!

Frodo Baggins: What? Oh, yeah. Right. Aha… *sweatdrop*

The Elves: not to mention that _you _were the one who wanted news from the outside world!

Frodo Baggins: ZOMG you're right! I completely forgot about that!

The Elves: should we even encourage him by responding?

Frodo Baggins: Sorry. *huggle*

The Elves: *are huggled*

Frodo Baggins: are we friends again?

The Elves: ALWAYS AND FOREVER! XD XD

Frodo Baggins: …right…

* * *

><p><strong>Samwise Gamgee wrote on Frodo Baggins wall<strong>

_How come we all age up, but you still look 33? _

1 hour ago. Like. Comment. See relationship

_Everyone likes this_

Frodo Baggins: I actually don't know. Seriously, do I look that young?

Pippin Took: YES! We look old enough to play with you now, don't we Merry?

Merry Brandybuck: Yes, because you look YOUNG enough to play with us! : D

Frodo Baggins: Yay, I feel young again! Let us all be best friends!

Pippin Took: Aww! *huggles Frodo*

Merry Brandybuck: *huggles Frodo*

Frodo Baggins: *iz huggled by Merry and Pippin*

Samwise Gamgee: What's a huggle?

Pippin Took: LMFAO

* * *

><p><strong>Frodo Baggins just saw a bunch of people shorter than me! <strong>

14 minutes ago. Like. Comment

_Samwise Gamgee likes this_

Samwise Gamgee: I think they were dwarves, Master Frodo!

Frodo Baggins: Say that again…

Samwise Gamgee: I think they were dwarves!

Frodo Baggins: No the other thing!

Samwise Gamgee: …Master Frodo?

Frodo Baggins: That's it!

Samwise Gamgee: Um…kay…

* * *

><p><span>Frodo Baggins<span> has changed his name to Master Frodo Baggins

12 minutes ago. Like. Comment

_Sam Gamgee likes this_

* * *

><p><strong>Pippin Took wrote on Master Frodo Baggins' wall<strong>

_Why did you change your name? _

11 minutes ago. Like. Comment

_Merry Brandybuck likes this_

Master Frodo Baggins: I'm Sam's master!

Samwise Gamgee: I like the name, sir!

Master Frodo Baggins: Why thank you, my dearest Sam.

Merry Brandybuck: …

Pippin Took: isn't that kind of a dick move?

Master Frodo Baggins: …oh…

* * *

><p><span>Master Frodo Baggins<span> has changed his name to Frodo Baggins

* * *

><p><strong>Samwise Gamgee absolutely KNOWS that his cousin Hal saw a giant, walking TREE. <strong>

10 minutes ago. Like. Comment

Everyone: LMFAO. Yeah right! Just like Frodo ACTUALLY see's elves, huh? XD

Frodo Baggins: HEY! I do! You can go look on my wall if you want! But I agree about the tree thing, LMAO.

Samwise Gamgee: You'll all see!

* * *

><p><strong>Gandalf the Grey wrote on Frodo Baggins wall<strong>

_Frodo, how are you? I'm back!_

13 minutes ago. Like. Comment

_Frodo Baggins likes this_

Frodo Baggins: GANDALF! *epic glomp*

Gandalf the Grey: *is epicly glomped*

Samwise Gamgee: what's a glomp?

Frodo Baggins: Sam, it's rather sad that Gandalf knows what a glomp is and you don't.

Samwise Gamgee: Sorry if I don't spend all my time on the computer! Just tell me what it is!

Gandalf the Grey: use , that's what I always use! LOL

Samwise Gamgee: *is checking the site out*

Frodo Baggins: so what did you want to talk to me about?

Gandalf the Grey: The ring. Is it secret, is it safe?

Frodo Baggins: Yup!

Gandalf the Grey: Cool! You look exactly the same as when I last saw you, Frodo.

Frodo Baggins: *clearly lying* so do you.

Gandalf the Grey: *sigh* you should at least look a little more like an old man. You look like a 20 year old!

Frodo Baggins: That's not a bad thing when you think about it…

Gandalf the Grey: *facepalm* Well, anyways, about the ring!

Frodo Baggins: What about it?

Samwise Gamgee: Wow! That site is amazing! I added UrbanDictionary to my bookmarks, so I can always go back to it!

Gandalf the Grey: UMMM this is going to have to wait until tomorrow.

Frodo Baggins: Damnit Sam!

_Gandalf the Grey likes this comment_

Samwise Gamgee: What? What did I do?

* * *

><p><strong>Frodo Baggins wrote on Gandalf the Grey's wall<strong>

_What did you want to tell me, Gandalf? _

12 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See relationship

Gandalf the Grey: Frodo, that ring you have is dangerous.

Frodo Baggins: *hears crickets*

Gandalf the Grey: *sigh* I know why you're so young looking!

Frodo Baggins: I've aged well!

Gandalf the Grey: *snort* yeah right. Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time there was a bad man who made rings, gave them out, and blah blah blah blah…

Frodo Baggins: *is zoning out*

Gandalf the Grey: *facepalm* THE POINT IS the ring you are keeping is keeping you from aging! You will never grow older or die, but it will make you so weary that you'll be BEGGING to be dead by the end of it!

Frodo Baggins: O.O

Gandalf the Grey: Yes, now you see the importance of destroying this ring, Frodo?

Frodo Baggins: U-uh-uhhuh.

Gandalf the Grey: I didn't mean to frighten you with tales about Sauron.

Frodo Baggins: Well you did! My innocence has been scarred!

Gandalf the Grey: What innocence? I know what you did with Lacy and Molly the other night!

Frodo: *blushes* it was a – hey HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THAT?

Gandalf the Grey: Oh, Frodo the whole Shire knows it. It's no big deal.

Frodo Baggins: …

Gandalf the Grey: Anyway, point is you need to destroy the ring.

Frodo Baggins: *whining* but I don't WANT to! You do it!

Gandalf the Grey: *horribly beats Frodo with his cane to make him stop whining*

Frodo Baggins: Ouch…

Gandalf the Grey: You must go on a quest to Mount Doom in Mordor to destroy the One Ring!

Samwise Gamgee: Oh BOY this sounds fun! Can I come? Please please please please?

Frodo Baggins: Sure you can come, Sam! I can't do this all on my own!

Samwise Gamgee: YAYZ!

Gandalf the Grey: Um…right…I must go consult with Saruman.

Frodo Baggins: WAIT! What if I don't believe you?

Gandalf the Grey: Just throw the goddamn ring in the fire!

Frodo Baggins: Won't that destroy it?

Gandalf the Grey: just do it.

Frodo Baggins: *does it*

Gandalf the Grey: what do you see?

Samwise Gamgee: wait, what's going on?

Frodo Baggins: WOAH DUDE!

Gandalf the Grey: WHAT? WHAT IS IT?

Frodo Baggins: I just remembered that Jersey Shore comes on tonight!

_Samwise Gamgee, Pippin Took, Merry Brandybuck and 210 others like this comment_

Gandalf the grey: -.-

Frodo Baggins: *laughing* ohh okay I see it now. It's some form of Elvish, I can't read it.

Gandalf the Grey: to put it simply, the ring says you're fucked.

Frodo Baggins: Oh shiz.

Samwise Gamgee: don't worry Master Frodo! I'll be there to help you!

Frodo Baggins: …thanks?

_Samwise Gamgee likes this comment_

* * *

><p><strong>Part one. Part two is coming soon. <strong>


End file.
